


The night before...

by BarPurple



Series: Sluggys's Feb Prompts [6]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Mild talk of sexy times, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 07:46:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9593174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarPurple/pseuds/BarPurple
Summary: “It’s been how long since you’ve had sex?”





	

Rumple wasn’t sure how he’d ended up at The Rabbit Hole with Charming, Whale and Hook, but he was here and feeling pleasantly buzzed from the scotch he’d been drinking, (not the shite they sold here, he’d conjured his own, probably against the rules, but he was still paying so it balanced out). 

Charming and Hook were sniggering at something, it too Rumple a second to focus on the fact that Whale had struck out with one of the ladies from Camelot. The doctor plopped himself back into his seat with a casual shrug.

“Plenty of other fish in the sea.”

“You said that last week, how long since you got lucky, mate?”

Whale gave Hook an imperious sneer; “I’m getting a happy ending more often than you, weren’t you only complaining yesterday about cock-blocking monsters?”

Rumple was surprise to see a look of woeful understanding on Charming’s face; surely this wasn’t the sort of talk a father wanted to hear from his daughter’s paramour? The prince was clearly deep enough in his cups not to mind, as he shook his head and sighed.

“It’s been a rough week, Snow and I have barely had a chance for more than a quick kiss.”

Hook was nodding in agreement. Rumple’s brow creased, he and Belle had been as involved of getting rid of the mini hydras that had invaded the town, and they had found plenty of time for intimate moments. Whale nudged him with his elbow, almost spilling his drink in the process.

“Guess they’re both still doing better than you hey, old man.” Rumple slowly turned his head and glared at the scientist.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh come on, you’re what four hundred years old, no shame in losing the umph, happens to us all.”

Indignant shock made Rumple stammer for a second, but he soon pointed out the errors in Whale’s thinking.

“Firstly I’m only three hundred and change, and the ‘umph’ as you put it hasn’t gone anywhere thank you very much.”

Whale reeled back from Rumple’s jabbing finger. Ever the diplomat Charming reached out and pushed his hand down towards the table before he ended up with and eyeball on the end of his finger.

“It’s alright Gold, we’ve all been so busy everyone’s bedroom has been on the quiet side.”

“Ppft! The only reason mine and Belle’s bedroom was quiet last night was because we made love in the living room, the only reason it was quiet this morning is because we made love in the shower.”

Rumple rose slightly unsteadily to his feet and gave the three men a withering look.

“No wonder back in the old country I spent so much time making deals with princesses unhappy with their marriages.”

He downed the last of his scotch and strolled out of the bar. The three men watched him go thoughtfully.

“Do you think he’s telling the truth?”

“He never really lies.”

“Personally I’d rather not think about it, mate.”

Whale smirked; “I would mind thinking about Be…”

Before he could finish that sentence Hook’s fist shot out and punched him in the jaw. Charming sniffed as Whale slumped onto the table top.

“Why did you do that?”

“Do you honestly want it getting back to the Crocodile that he was talking about Belle like that?”

Charming considered for a moment and then raised his glass to clink against Hook’s.

“Good call.”


End file.
